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BUSH'S LOOK-ALIKE TROUNCES BUSH IN NEW POLL

 

Majority of Americans Prefer Comic Imposter to Actual President

President Bush's appearance with a comedic look-alike at last Saturday's White House Correspondents' Association Dinner in Washington may have backfired, as a new poll released today shows that the public prefers Mr. Bush's look-alike to the president himself by an almost three-to-one margin.

 

According to the survey conducted by the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, in a head-to-head match-up Mr. Bush's imposter garners 74% support while Mr. Bush gets only 25%, with the other one percent saying they found "no difference" between Mr. Bush and his funnyman look-alike.

 

And while only 36% of those surveyed approve of the job Mr. Bush is doing as president, 97% approve of the job Mr. Bush's look-alike is doing of ridiculing the job Mr. Bush is doing as president.

 

Dr. Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey for the University of Minnesota, believes that while the new poll numbers are troubling news for the president, Mr. Bush could dramatically improve his standing with the American people by involving his look-alike in more key White House decision.

 

"Most Americans do not approve the idea of President Bush invading Iran, but they wouldn't mind so much if his funny look-alike did it," Dr. Logsdon said.

 

But behind the poll numbers, there is potential trouble looming for Mr. Bush's popular look-alike: "There is already a perception out there that he is being controlled by a Dick Cheney look-alike."

 

Elsewhere, magician David Blaine began a week submerged in a human-sized goldfish bowl, attempting to set a record for the most desperate bid for attention ever.

 

 

 

FURTHER WHITE HOUSE SHAKE-UP: BUSH TO TRADE PLACES WITH 'BUSH IMPERSONATOR'

 

By Don DavisIn what is universally considered the most radical White House change yet, President Bush has agreed to trade places with Steve Bridges, the "Bush impersonator" who performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner this past weekend.

 

A bipartisan consensus was reached that this would be a "win-win" for the Country, since Bridges is obviously a lot smarter and articulate than the President, and, conversely, the President is clearly funnier than Bridges. Foreign policy experts are particularly ecstatic, since they believe that in the upcoming critical negotiations with Iran, it's crucial to have a President who can actually pronounce the word "nuclear."

 

Proponents of cloning and stem cell research are also strongly supportive of the move, on the theory that this further vindicates the notion that a new, improved version of an individual can be achieved.

 

It is also reported that Laura Bush is very excited over the idea of a new mate, since she has apparently grown very frustrated by her husband simply declaring "Mission Accomplished" — before he actually finishes the job.

 

Leaders of both parties are also desperately seeking a "Rumsfeld impersonator," but it appears that Professor Irwin Corey is solidly booked in Vegas for the forseeable future.

 

However, there is clearly no sentiment to find a Cheney impersonator, since the fear is that the Vice President will just shoot the poor guy in the face – and then take his heart.

 

 

 

BLOGWORTHIES:

 

Norm at One Good Move has the Abbott and Costello-like video of Dubya/Steve Bridges.

 

"May Day" takes on a whole new meaning with the anniversary of Bush's infamous "Mission Accomplished" proclamation, as highlighted by Media Matters, courtesy of Crooks and Liars.

 

Political Wire reports on "Generic Democratic Congressional lead." I say let's just stick with the "generic" — it's cheaper and usually just as effective.

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apparently today someone turned the mic on early and he said "I don't want to deal with that shit in the middleeast, and got cut off, but I think he may have said "I hope israel kills them all and gets the job done since they don't have cnn blocking the betterment of humanity

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