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Thought Of The Day!


Frankzao
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For a gloomy Monday:

 

 

From Comedy Central's The Colbert Report:

 

Recipient of Stephen's Tip of the Hat:

 

The Boston Pops -- for keeping the audience awake with some good old fashioned mayhem. But remember, once you give them a taste, you're gonna have to keep upping the carnage.

 

Recipients of Stephen's Wag of the Finger:

 

Mitt Romney -- you shouldn't apologize for your religion. You don't see Stephen apologizing for what Catholics did in the past -- the Crusades, the Inquisition, guitar Mass...

 

USADA -- if you mess with Lance Armstrong, you mess with his best friend, Matthew McConaughey. And if you go after him, you have to go through Stephen first.

 

MPAA -- for considering making movies R-rated if they contain smoking. That's going to completely kill the chances for Stephen's screenplay, "Johnny Smokez and the Menthol Mysteries."

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GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL & TRANSGENDER PRIDE MONTH -- JUNE 2007

 

 

June is Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgender (GLBT) Pride Month. The theme for this year’s commemoration is:

 

“Pride Not Prejudice”

 

The ongoing mission of the Social Security Administration continues to be focused on serving the beneficiaries who depend on all SSA employees to be the careful stewards of the full range of benefits administered by the agency. Together, we have served SSA beneficiaries successfully for over six decades, and we will continue to serve for many more to come. Our accomplishments and success continue to be a product of valuing all the contributions a diverse workforce brings to the process of serving the public.

 

Included in the diverse SSA family are employees from the Gay & Lesbian, Bisexual, & Transgender (GLBT) communities. June is traditionally the month in which these communities celebrate with Gay & Lesbian Pride events not only in the United States, but throughout the world. The month is filled with activities and events that are educational, celebratory, that challenge us to further growth, and that help us recognize the complexity and richness of our society. We are committed to respect the equal worth of every human being.

 

We believe that the inclusiveness of a broad range of human perspectives, experiences, backgrounds, and opinions enhances the quality of our workforce. The agency is committed to ensuring that individual talents are recognized and rewarded based on merit with opportunities that provide for advancement without regard to an employee’s race, creed, color, national origin, sex (gender), religion or spiritual practice, marital status, disability, age, or sexual orientation.

 

Programs that honor diversity are a reminder of how far America has come down the road of inclusiveness. We have found unity through diversity because every group is valued and respected. As Americans, we are united by a common purpose and by a commitment to justice and equality.

 

 

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Peter D. Spencer

SSA Regional Commissioner for

the San Fransisco Region

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The Breakway Republic Of Vermont?

Small Cadre Of Writers And Academics Plots A Secession Strategy

 

MONTPELIER, Vt., June 4, 2007

 

(AP) At Riverwalk Records, the all-vinyl record store just down the street from the state Capitol, the black "US Out of Vt.!" T-shirts are among the hottest sellers.

 

But to some people in Vermont, the idea is bigger than a $20 novelty. They want Vermont to secede from the United States — peacefully, of course.

 

Disillusioned by what they call an empire about to fall, a small cadre of writers and academics is plotting political strategy and planting the seeds of separatism.

 

They've published a "Green Mountain Manifesto" subtitled "Why and How Tiny Vermont Might Help Save America From Itself by Seceding from the Union." They hope to put the question before citizens at Town Meeting Day next March, eventually persuading the state Legislature to declare independence, returning Vermont to the status it held from 1777 to 1791.

 

Whether it's likely is another question.

 

But the idea has found plenty of sympathetic ears in Vermont, a left-leaning state that said yes to civil unions, no to slavery (before any other) and last year elected a socialist to the U.S. Senate.

 

About 300 people turned out for a 2005 secession convention in the Statehouse, and plans for a second one are in the works. A poll this year by the University of Vermont's Center for Rural Studies found that 13 percent of those surveyed support secession, up from 8 percent a year before.

 

"The argument for secession is that the U.S. has become an empire that is essentially ungovernable — it's too big, it's too corrupt and it no longer serves the needs of its citizens," said Rob Williams, editor of Vermont Commons, a quarterly newspaper dedicated to secession.

 

"Congress and the executive branch are being run by the multinationals. We have electoral fraud, rampant corporate corruption, a culture of militarism and war. If you care about democracy and self-governance and any kind of representative system, the only constitutional way to preserve what's left of the Republic is to peaceably take apart the empire."

 

Such movements have a long history. Key West, Fla., staged a mock secession from America in the 1980s. The Town of Killington, Vt., tried to break away and join New Hampshire in 2004, and Hawaii, Alaska, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Texas all have some form of secession organizations today.

 

The proposed flag of the Second Vermont Republic, a group trying to push the state's succession from the U.S. (www.vermontrepublic.org)

 

The Vermont movement, which is being pushed by several different groups, has been bubbling up for years but has gained new traction in the wake of disenchantment over the Iraq war, rising oil prices and the formation of the pro-secession groups.

 

Among its architects:

 

Thomas Naylor, 70, a retired Duke University economics professor and author who wrote the manifesto and founded Second Vermont Republic, a group pressing for secession, in 2003.

 

Author Kirkpatrick Sale, 69, founder of the Middlebury Institute, a Cold Spring, N.Y., think tank that hosted a North American Separatist Convention that drew representatives from 16 organizations last fall in Burlington. The group is co-sponsoring another one Oct. 3-4 in Chattanooga, Tenn.

 

Author Frank Bryan, 65, a professor at the University of Vermont who has championed the cause for years.

 

Naylor's 112-page manifesto contains precious little explanation of how Vermont would do without federal aid and programs when it comes to security, education and social programs. Some in the movement foresee a Vermont with its own currency and passports, for example, and some form of representative government formed once the secession has taken place.

 

The cachet of secession would make the new republic a magnet, Bryan said recently during a strategy session with organizers in Naylor's home.

 

"People would obviously relish coming to the Republic of Vermont, the Switzerland of North America," he said. "Christ, you couldn't keep them away."

 

But there are plenty of skeptics.

 

"It doesn't make economic sense, it doesn't make political sense, it doesn't make historical sense. Other than that, it's a good idea," said Paul Gillies, a lawyer and Vermont historian.

 

While neither the Vermont Constitution nor the U.S. Constitution forbids secession per se, few think it's viable.

 

"I always thought the Civil War settled that," said Russell Wheeler, a constitutional law expert at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C.

 

"If Vermont had a powerful enough army and said, `We're leaving the union,' and the national government said, 'No, you're not,' and they fought a war over it and Vermont won, then you could say Vermont proved the point. But that's not going to happen," he said.

 

For now, the would-be secessionists are hoping to draw enough support to get the question on Town Meeting Day agendas.

 

"We're normal human beings," said Williams, 39, a history professor at Champlain College. "But we're serious about this. We want people in Vermont to think about the options going forward. Do you want to stay in an empire that's in deep trouble?"

 

© MMVII The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

 

 

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From the writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

 

SENATORS WITHOUT BORDERS

 

The immigration bill would create two new types of visas for foreigners hoping to work in America: the "Y" visa would allow new immigrants to serve as a guest worker for two years, while the "Z" visa, for illegal immigrants already in the country, would allow them to work on a probationary basis for four years, with the hope of eventually gaining citizenship. There's also the American airlines "advantage" visa, which would grant immigrants 100 frequent flier miles for every mile walked across the Arizona desert.

 

The bill doesn't make getting citizenship easy: even immigrants who get one of the "Z" visas would have to wait up to eight years to become permanent lawful residents, and even then, would have to pay $5,000 and make a "touch back" trip to their home country. And roll a pair of sevens. And name every #1 single Elvis ever had.

 

 

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THREAT DOWN by Stephen Colbert

 

Threat #5: Hong Kong -- oh, they object to the Bible's sexual content when they're the ones who get off by snorting powdered tiger dong?

 

Threat #4: Michael Moore -- if conservatives like his movie too, that means socialized medicine is on its way, just as sure as Bowling for Columbine led to banning all our guns.

 

Threat #2: Regulation -- a couple of people in Michigan get tummy aches and all of a sudden the government recalls meat in 15 states? "Oh no! Somebody slipped on a banana peel! Let's nuke Ecuador!"

 

Threat #1: Environmentalists -- there's a movement afoot to set up a trust fund to protect two animal species who are about to be taken off the endangered list. The animals in question? Grey wolves and GRIZZLY BEARS!

 

 

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Your President had something interesting to say about the "No-confidence" vote the Congress was trying to accomplish on Monday. Quote:

"They can try to have their votes, uhhh, of no-confidence, but it's not going to determine, .... make the determination of who serves in .... in my government."

 

Jon Stewart's reply: "Your government? Ahhh, yes. I think I remember that from the preamble to the constitution.... "W The people.. .."

 

And indeed I said "your President".

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